Lolwut
by disturbance in the sauce
Summary: I will attempt to write graphic sex scenes of every harry potter couple. Starting with Ron & Hermione - Harry & Ginny is work in progress.


Chapter 1: We Didn't Need To Know That

Staring up the staircase Ron wondered what to do, considering the stairs were enchanted to turn into a slide if boys tried to climb them he would have a tricky job getting up there if he did so much as put a foot forward. The stone blocks stood there, staring back at him as if to taunt him into stepping on them. Ron ignored them and drew his wand.

"Wingardium Leviosa", said Ron pointing the wand at his chest. Ron felt a strange sensation, like being lightheaded except with a rush of adrenaline to bring him back to earth, as you would imagine when someone takes off from the ground. As he floated, nervously, up the tower he remembered the first time he heard the words being uttered, almost irritably by Hermione as she tried to get him to say it properly, who would have guessed he would be using that very spell to go see her 6 years down the line?

Ron placed his hand upon the door, feeling its hard wooden frame push away as he lent on it. He was careful to control over the door for to wake any of the inhabitants would be death for his plan.

Inside the dorm the air was warm, almost inviting him in to move like a tiger amongst his herd. The girls were in a various states of dress, to Ron's mind it was like prowling through an erotic dream – if only they would wake and come to him, shedding their clothes as they moved, ready like a pack of wild dogs to jump and satisfy whatever lust Ron happened to be thinking about. Sadly for the girls Ron had only one on his mind that night.

Ron's attention skimped between the night-dresses and bare skin illuminated by the moonlight shining through the windows like silky beams landing on those he would gladly approach. Softly striding forward Ron noticed Lavendar ahead, vibrantly shining in the room - but not in the way he once saw her, there was something else – as Ron squinted in her direction he saw she was naked.

Ron gazed at her breasts, his mind fluttering with memories of encounters past when she had invited him to touch them, of course not after she hadn't almost impregnated him with her tongue. Lavendar's breasts lay out on chest, uncovered by the sheets, which almost by fate had slipped off to reveal the orbs that lay beneath. Breaking the gaze Ron noticed that such free exposure was not limited to Lavendar, almost a third of the girls bore nothing when they slept each arousing Ron more as he gazed upon them.

Through the sea of inviting distractions Ron finally arrived at Hermione's bed, she slept there, clothed as if to tell Ron she would come to him easy. Approaching his goddess Ron's mind pondered what he would do to her, thoughts of stroking her chest, running his hands along her skin or even kissing her while she was asleep fluttered by each more appealing than the last, "perhaps I should venture lower?" thought Ron.

Ron crept into his lover's bed, being careful not to make it creak. He shuffled up to Her, reaching up her shirt with his hand enjoying every inch of the sensual bliss that was her skin. His hand arrived at her breasts, to Ron's delight she was not wearing a bra - stretching his fingers out to rub her nipples, he moved over his head and kissed her warmly on the neck. The sleeping beauty's face formed a smile as she rolled over keeping Ron's hands in position as she gracefully put her face beside his.

"took you long enough"

Hermione lent over and kissed him, although only their lips touched the passion was strong between them, Hermione gently moved Ron's lips apart sliding her tongue into his mouth. Her tongue knew this territory well and brushed against his, to be pushed into the middle of their mouths. Their tongues danced in the middle as if to celebrate their love, taking turns to lead each other into their owner's mouths. The display ended and their faces turned to each other again. Their eyes stared longingly at each other, their pupils dilating into huge black dots as if to offer themselves to each other.

As they took in the endless gazes of each other, they heard a groan from next to the bed. Angelina Johnson lay there facing directly at them, draped in an oversized Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Fortunately for them she seemed more interested in fantasising about George Weasley then looking into her neighbor's nighttime activities.

"I think we need to move somewhere more private", whispered Hermione as she sat up and pulled down her shirt. Leaning out of bed and scanning the wide horizon for any onlookers she grasped Ron's hand and the two bounded along the floor like a pair of rabbits and out of the door.

Once outside they were met with the same cold stare from the stone blocks that spiraled down to the common room, seeming to show fierceness towards Hermione and an almost unnatural loathing towards the one who beat them at their game. Hermione took Ron's hand and led him down with, much to the disapproval of the stairs who would never turn on a girl but were flattening at every opportunity they got to try and trip Ron up, only to morph shamefully back into shape at each attempt.

The lovers entered into the common room, feeling a wave of embracing warmth from the fire as they went in. Immediately they embraced, filling the room with their compassion with the fire as their witness. They clung to each other tightly, wondering what to do next and better still what to say if someone found two half-naked students embracing in the middle of the night.

"Prefect's Bathroom?", she whispered in his ear

"Bit of a walk, what if the pictures see us?"

"Haha, let them look", said Hermione smiling at Ron with a wanting seductive face that was impossible for him to avoid.

The lovers galloped through the castle, thoughts in mind of the aquatic haven they would soon arrive at, dreams and actions they could not wait to do to each other, the only barrier holding them back being how good it would be when they got there. As they tip-toed along the corridors they were surrounded by a vacant silence, counterpointed only by the sleepy murmurs of the portraits surrounding them, long silk curtains held tightly to the walls, guiding them to their goal on the other side. They ran up the stairs to the fifth floor, leaving the dark celibate void behind them that stretched downwards into a spiral black-hole of nothingness which in mere hours would be flooded with a host of students packed together as close as the lovers held each other at that moment.

Arriving at the entrance they saw the statue of Boris the Bewildered standing proudly like he expected them, like a sentinel dedicated to their cause. Hermione reached up to his ear and whispered "Forget-Me-Never" like a succubi would to a monk. Boris stood aside and the couple entered the haven.

Once the water had started to fill the bath they stripped off. Ron went first, his lover kissed him whilst lifting his red t-shit up and above his head, running her fingers down his chest, feeling the tender skin as she embraced him again.

She lowered him onto the step in front of the bath, leaning over as he pulled her shirt over her head, her breasts hanging freely as his hands came to greet them. Ron rolled her over, his head making content with the luscious jewels that were in front of him, he resumed his plan from the bed – massaging one of her breasts while he licked and sucked on the nipple of the other like he wanted to be fed. He switched around to draw his lips' attention to her other breast, whilst squeezing the one he had just kissed, massaging the soft skin and hearing his lover moan with delight.

Hermione ran her hands down Ron's back eventually arriving at his boxers, sliding down the back of them massaging his ass before finally pulling them down and discarding them like an unwanted weight. The clothing sliding off smoothly, paving the way for her plan. They rolled over again. Hermione reached for his penis, sitting limp and proud between his legs, starting to flush with the excitement of what was to come. She held it firmly, rubbing it up and down gently whilst his face donned a look of enchantment. She ran her tongue up the shaft, the tongue tempting him, asking for some more fun to be had.

As Hermione felt him become hard in her hands she put her mouth over it, lips clinging to the sides as her saliva ran down the length. Whilst her tongue danced with the head, her hands played with the base forming a harmony of erotic movement. For some time Hermione played with him, Ron becoming harder by the minute as her mouth ran up and down every inch of his penis.

At long last she stopped and moved to kiss her lover, leaving his penis by running her tongue down both sides of the shaft and enveloping it in her mouth, the shaft being engrossed in her saliva, she moved her head up sucking tight on him as she did. The final kiss pushed him over the tipping point and as Hermione sat up to embrace her lover he could not hold himself no longer and released all over her breasts. Hermione sat up and looked at the white liquid, encompassing her bosom. She laughed and massaged it into them while kissing him

Ron rolled Hermione onto her back and washed it from her, pouring the warm water over her breasts while he joyfully played with them. Ron ran his hand down her thigh reaching for the back of her also-blue pajama shorts. Ron pulled them off, depositing them next to his own.

He moved his head to her crotch, ceremonially spreading her legs as he went. Ron looked closer at her vagina, and began to kiss its lips; he ran his tongue up the outside and pushed it in slightly when he went down. Ron reached his head forward thrusting the muscular adventurer inside to explore the unknown territory. Ron moved his tongue around, as his lips rubbed against hers he practically salivated all over them, both being wet with his fluids whilst he delved inside.

Flattening his tongue out he navigated up and through the moist crevasse he reached her clitoris, he ran his tongue back and fourth over it, Hermione's body almost arched at this point, her screaming out in delight at her lover's actions. He explored again with his tongue, venturing through the soft, warm, juicy jungle whilst her face shone with bliss. Ron made a last move, running his tongue from the bottom to the top stimulating every sensual point in Hermione's vagina.

As he pulled out, she sat up. The lovers stared at each other, both nude at this point. The moonlight coming from the windows produced a similar effect to that in the dorm, illuminating the bare skin of the two and making them shine like gods. The water had steamed off slightly making the room humid and causing them both to have sweated a little, they embraced each other's bodies running down the soft wet skin they both now had.

Ron and Hermione stood up and dropped into the water they had run almost 20 minutes ago. To their surprise it had retained its embalming aromas and enticing heat. They both laid back enjoying for a moment not the violent rush of endorphins through their brains but the simple blissful state they found themselves in. The floating lasted for a few moments after which the lovers were drawn to each other. Moving to one of the marble seats that were around the bath they embraced, trapping each other's mouths in a state of ecstasy.

Ron seized his penis, already solid with anticipation and drove it into Hermione. It was warm inside her, but fluid at the same time – all the pleasure prior to this had made her vagina drench itself, ready for excitement. Ron's penis was now totally encompassed by her, being hugged from all sides by a bout of tense flesh. He pulled out and began the erotic ritual, sliding himself in and out of her. The love became intense at this point, the members of the ritual were all over each other engrossed in their world that the surrounding environment turned into a cesspit of love in their eyes. Hermione wrapped her arms around him tightly squeezing the one she desired, pulling him to lie skin to skin with her on the once cold marble seat that had become hot like an oven from being near their sex. As it drove ever harder, the feeling was on par with godliness.

Hermione pushed him up, having him sit like a toy soldier waiting to be attended to, his penis rising in the water almost saluting her as she approached. Hermione straddled him, mounting the tiger that was her lover whilst eating down with her crotch onto him. She kissed him, pulling down and sucking on his bottom lip. As she moved back and fourth, gnawing on his sex all the way Ron murmured slightly and brought his face to hers, docking their mouths together.

He let loose, spurting up a jet of love inside her, his penis sending shockwaves of euphoria throughout his body – bellowing down to his toes and up to the ends his hairs which only made him shoot more as the waves bounced off every corner of his body. Hermione laid back, the climax had induced some sort of orgasmic paralysis as the juices spread up inside her. His release coated her insides like he was marking her as his.

The girl sat next to the boy and the lovers lay next to each drawn by the rush that was sending them to heaven.


End file.
